Is it okay that I don't ask my therapist how they are?

Is it normal for you not to ask how I am, your therapist?

You're probably asking this question because you are a really thoughtful, considerate and friendly person. You have so much care to even wonder about how your therapist is and want to ask them about themselves.

I really understand this. As a therapist myself, I am the type of person who would much rather do the listening than the talking, and I would much rather ask other people

how they are, then talk about how I am.

But even for myself as a professional licensed therapist with my clients, the time comes

for me to talk about myself with my own therapist. Just as there is a time and a place for you to talk all about yourself.

It is not rude for you to focus on yourself in therapy and not ask how I'm doing.

However, I understand that you may be curious and you want also want to ask. If this is the case, then ask away. I don't mind my clients asking me how I am because I have no problem saying how I'm coming into the session. It's only if your wondering how I am stops you from opening up or stops the sessions being about you, that this may be something to look at. This would be a conversation, and I might ask questions like... Do you notice that you focus more on me than you do on yourself? What makes you want to ask all about me? Does this hinder you in any way?

But not asking - no problem. I don't mind whatsoever.

Remember that therapy is all about you. We are here for you, how you are, what's going on for you. The purpose of therapy is for you to be able to speak openly without consequence, without thinking how what you say might affect me as your therapist. It's not rude to focus just on yourself in therapy.

If you are looking for therapy for yourself, in your relationship or with your family and need help to communicate better, overcome challenges, resolve conflicts and to get to know each other better - I am the therapist for you.

You can follow the link down below and book in a free no-pressure consultation to talk about what support can look like for you or contact me through the form on this website.

To book your call - you can email me at info@loudlamb.com or book in directly via https://calendly.com/lily-llewellyn/30min

Written by Lily Llewellyn

May 13th 2025