Is it normal that my therapist remembers loads about me?

Is it normal that my therapist remembers loads about me?

You may find that in your therapy session you share with your therapist all kinds of details about your life, from your feelings, to the names of your friends, to what you did at the

weekend, to your aspirations and dreams from the future.

And each and every week, your therapist may recall details that you shared in previous sessions. Details that make you wonder, how on earth has my therapist remembered

all of these details about me? Is it normal for your therapist to remember so much?

You might be asking, why does my therapist have such a fantastic memory?

I understand this thought, both as a professional counsellor and also as somebody who has had years of on and off counselling. You may find it creepy, or you may find it quite caring.

I tend to like it when my counsellors remember these details about me. And I find that my clients like it when I remember details about them. Mainly because remembering details

shows that people were actively listening and they care enough to absorb all of what was shared and remember it. But you also might find it creepy. And I completely understand this too.

You're wondering, how do they remember all the details anyway and is it normal? Let me explain.

Firstly, I can completely reassure you that therapists do not listen for all the details about you and what you share, the name of your best friend, or the exact figure in your income or

how much you weigh. These kinds of details are not the things that we are listening out for in therapy. And I guarantee you a big promise with one-hundred percent certainty, your therapist does not write down every detail that you share with them in their therapy notes after the session. It just does not happen.

Rest assured, your therapist, (if your therapist is anything like me) will remember a great deal about you because they care. I am absorbed 100% in what you say. I focus 100% of my attention on you in your therapy session. And it's true that in the next session these kinds of details pop back into my head again!

If you asked me to memorize other things in other ordinary day situations, like how to spell certain words, or my own phone number or the address of my grandmother, I literally won't be able to tell you.

My memory sucks in so many ways, but when it comes to my clients, it's true I have a fantastic memory! Lots of therapists like me have fantastic, fantastic memories.

If you really feel that your therapist is a little bit creepy and they remember all kinds of details and they're bringing up these details in order to almost prove to you that they were listening, I could totally see how that would be weird.

If this is the case, it's worth mentioning this to your therapist. You can just say to them...

• "Hey, therapist, how come you remember so much about me?"

  
  

• "What kind of things are you listening for?"

  
  

• "Do you try to remember all of these things about me?"

  
  

• "Is there a reason why you mention all of these details again and again in a therapy session?"

  
  

• Or even, "Is active listening the same as remembering everything?"

(It's not by the way - active listening is not the same as remembering loads of details).

In sum, your therapist may have a fantastic memory but rest assured 99.9% of therapists don't try to remember every detail. They certainly do not make notes about all the details that you share. And it's not the main thing that we're listening for either. Your therapist has a great memory because we are listening so focused and attentively to you and what you share in your therapy session.

If you are looking for online therapy, you can reach out to me via email at info@loudlamb.com or connect through my website! I look forward to hearing from you and will reply as soon as possible.

Written by Lily Llewellyn

April 14th 2025